Hugo to Hell?

A fellow Christian gave me the news over lunch today. With a warm smile on his face, he pronounced the fact almost lovingly: “Hugo Chavez is dead.”

My car radio delivered the news much more nicely: A “controversial” leader finally succumbs after a painful battle with cancer …. Sean Penn and other members of the Hollywood elite mourn the loss of a good friend …. President Obama promises to protect civil rights as always, and extends American goodwill to the Venezuelan people during this new chapter in their country’s history.

Meanwhile, Christian ex-pats from Venezuela are overflowing with gratitude to God for showing Chavez the door. They’re confident that the tyrant leader has finally entered the Kingdom of Hell, and they aren’t above shouting out that he will “burn for all eternity!” Damn these Christians are mean!

We live in a time when Christianity is more and more marginalized. The beliefs we hold, though ancient, are treated as radical, fringe oppositions to what is “normal.” As soon as the news broke about Chavez’s death, we all witnessed just how starkly Christians can differ from the rest of society. While director Oliver Stone tearfully displayed a photo of himself shaking Hugo’s hand, my Christian friend smiled and rubbed his hands together, savoring his lunch just a little more than usual. While the president danced around the glaring issues surrounding Chavez’s rule, a group of Christians who’ve lived under that rule danced for joy at the death–and indeed the damnation–of their deceased enemy.

I want to go to THERE!

Now, I cannot defend wishing for the damnation of any soul, and these Venezuelans are surely overenthused in their anger. That being said, I have more sympathy for the poor angry Christian victims of Chavez than for his luxurious Hollywood eulogists.

In a competition of niceness, Christians lose hands down. After all, we’re kind of famous for believing in Heaven and Hell, e.i. the place where good people go and the other place, where, I don’t know, maybe evil dictators go. Hey, we didn’t write the rules. Christianity doesn’t believe in itself, but in God, and prays to be with Him in Heaven after death. Hollywood, on the other hand, does believe in itself. And Hollywood is so nice that it wants us all to believe in ourselves and to feel like stars in this life (the afterlife be damned). Wouldn’t that be nice?

But Hollywood dismisses such embarrassing things as the suffering inflicted by a wicked dictator and the damnation imposed by a good God. And so it’s left to Christians to embrace those who suffer and to recognize the wicked for what they are.

If you want to be nice, Christianity might not be the best religion for you. Remember, the Christian God inspired the words of the Bible—all of them, not just the ones that your mom likes to read to her “fallen away” friends.

In honor of Hugo Chavez’s death, and with Hollywood in mind, I propose a moment of silence. Below, I’ve provided a few Biblical verses to guide your meditation. Let the Word of God wash over you, then close your eyes, clinch your fists and, in the words of evangelist Ray Comfort, “go serve your King!”

O that Thou wouldst slay the wicked, O God; depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed. For they speak against Thee wickedly, and Thine enemies take Thy name in vain. Do I not hate those who hate Thee, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against Thee? I hate them with the utmost hatred; they have become my enemies. –Psalm 139